just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
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"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
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Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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