I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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