Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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