I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
