Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
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I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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