so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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