recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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