im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Your cock deserves a montage
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
