So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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