I wish I could punch you in the face.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize