we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you will always have a special place in my vag
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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