It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
