I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
