So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
dude. I can hear the air.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
