Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
