Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
