absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
