and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
