All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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