What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
