All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
