i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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