dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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