Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
