I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize