you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
