we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
