Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
