You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize