it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
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Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
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MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..