ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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