your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
