he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
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I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
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shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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