I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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