i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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