In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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