nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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