plz talk dirty to me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
