I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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