i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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