You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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