I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize