that's an acceptable place to lick
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
