I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
