I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
