so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
