either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
