Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The Olympian is in my bed
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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