Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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