Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
