We're like a lot better than the average bears
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
