My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
