I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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