a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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