Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Girls should come with a carfax report
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Come back. Shots need mouths.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
