Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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