I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize