wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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