...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
