Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
