There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
