dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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