Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
