Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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